The Shadow Dome

I became lost between the lines of my own scripture. So deep did I wander into the words that I could longer see the forest for the trees. At what point does looking in the mirror change from reflection to obsession, exploration to isolation? I discovered that point, but only in hindsight, for shadows cast at sundown are solved by the light of dawn. And through searching, the silent realm of my own mind contorted, slowly enclosing around me until it created a velvety cerebral dome within which I lived unawares, gazing down into pools of thought, thinking the reflections I saw were the real world itself. The Shadow Dome had taken me.

In time the reflections became dim, for the world within which I was living had become dark. My sight faded, and that gleaming white weapon which I had come to think of as wisdom won from my battle against solitude was in truth the very dagger that penetrated my heart, and tethered me to this forsaken realm. Nights bled into the days, and the Shadow Dome became the canopy to my life. Yet in this dark world, it became easier to see even the faintest light that would appear from time to time.

In this realm of darkness, whose veils were embroidered with my faults and insecurities, I became much more sensitive to any light-rays that should glimmer. The Light was the truth, and when it shone it would pierce through the Dome unhindered, igniting the bracken within me that had long lain dormant, damp and cold. Sometimes I would resent the Light, and it would appear as a rude awakening from the dull but safe dreamworld I had built around myself. Yet however stubborn I wanted to be, I had become too aware that my world was but one within a greater and brighter whole, and the Light persisted, baiting my curiosity in merciful ways.

In time I could no longer deny that the Shadow Dome was an illusion, and that the truth lay beyond its dusky walls. What I once saw as a home had suddenly become a cage, and I felt myself longing to fly beyond it. Slowly, sometimes reluctantly, led by a faith in that light which reflected within me, I ventured out of the Dome, and rediscovered the vitality in joy and pain; the necessity of sun and rain. Even now, after the Long Night has ended, there are times I catch glimpses beyond the gloaming curtain, but that world which once held the scope of my awareness is now a smudge on the periphery of my Vision.